'Just cos it's natural doesn't mean it's safe'

Congratulations to Gareth Boughtwood ('Guff') and Andy (no surname!) who won the chilli-eating contests on Saturday and Sunday.  Guff, you are a monster - 3 CPP Spanish naga - are you mad?  But Alice, who came a very very close second, you were a credit to your sex - the 3 nagad woman.  If I hadn't begged you to stop I do believe you would have continued to the bitterest end - thank god your rational, self-preserving side came to your aid.

Andy, Sunday's winner, where are you?  Chillipepperpete wants to help you make a killer sauce.  Please get in touch with him - after all, you barely broke sweat.  You deserve the best.

Highlights from  Fiery Foods UK chilli-eating competition

the pub heats!

"The most amazing thing we've done all year - brilliant fun!"

                         Jon, Manager, Sidewinder pub, St James St, Brighton

Last night saw the first of the pub heats chilli-eating competitions at the Sidewinder pub and it was fantastic.  There was some nervousness about just how hot it would go but 15 courageous people offered themselves on the sacrificial altar of Naga, the chilli god.

We started off gently with the Whippet's Tail to line the stomach, then built up to a Jalapeno, which got rid of a couple of lesser mortals.  We moved swiftly up to a Yellow Cayenne.  There were still 10 people clinging on so we played our wildcard (I cannot divulge what it was) but it sorted out another 2 contestants.  The Long Thai chilli followed and then some mean little Nepali Orange so that by the time we reached for the Dorset Naga there were merely 7 people remaining.  By this time, there were some unpleasant side-effects occuring - one lovely lady was complaining of numb ears and deafness, some cramping of the hands in others and of course, the horrendous unrelenting searing pain of the mucous membranes in the mouth.  One way to relieve the heat temporarily is to drink milk - or even anything - but of course that would be cheating.  So just to make life a little bit more tortured for our chilliheads we placed a delicious cold glass of lager in front of each.  So tempting, but if they succumbed they were out!  Most succumbed.

So with 7 left it was time to bring out our snarling Dorset Naga - a small and seemingly harmless-looking beast but with a bite that rips your throat out.  Our contestants looked on in fear and trepidation at the fruit (for that is what it is) and some gave in graciously at that point.  So 5 left.  With one desperate gulp, each bit into the shiny skin and chewed on the pulp, swallowing the seeds and placenta til it was no more.  The pain was unbearable - as was the taste, a bitter residue remaining on the tongue which only a long draw on the beer could wash away.

And then there were 3.  So what's left to challenge our chilli aficionados? Nothing could be as hot as the Dorset Naga surely?  Wrong, wrong, wrong.  Hiding like the shy wallflower at a school disco, was Chillipepperpete's Naga, a long, luscious red-head with curves in all the right places.  There was gasps from the audience and horrified silence from the contestants as a Naga was placed reverentially in front of each.  Quivering hands held the chillis aloft then, on the count of 3 from Rob the compere, the men opened their screaming mouths and bit into the Lady in Red.

What came after is not nice to recall but let's just say the competition ended there with 2 finalists going on to represent The Sidewinder at the Chilli-Eating Competition Finals at the Fiery Foods UK Festival 2009 19-20 September in Brighton.

Well done to James Hair and Glen Miller (yes, really!) for services to chilli beyond the call of duty, and thanks to all those who took part - you were stars.

Thanks too to Jon of the Sidewinder for really getting into it and making it such as success and to Paul who cleared up afterwards! 

The fresh chillis came from Edible Ornamentals www.edibleornamentals.co.uk, Dry River Chillies www.dryriverchillies.co.uk and chillipepperpete www.chillipepperpete.com.  For Black Death beer see www.fallenangelbrewery.com or come to the Fiery Foods shop at Brighton Marina.

You too can do this by entering our chilli-eating competition!

Come and feel pain in support of your local pub.  This year 9 pubs have risen to the Fiery Foods Uk challenge and are looking for hardened chilliheads to chomp their way through chillipepperpete's hottest chillis and chilli sauces and bring victory to their favourite watering-hole. 

Just sign up at any of the pubs listed below and the 2 finalists from each pub will go on to enter the chilli-eating finals at the Fiery Foods UK Festival at Victoria Gardens on 19-20 September.

Winners receive £50 cash prize plus the opportunity to make their own customised chilli sauce at chillipepperpete's and a chance to stitch your mates up!

BUT before you join us you must sign a disclaimer that you are of sound mind and body and are willingly taking part.  You accept that the organisers bear no responsibility for any pain that may result from eating stupidly hot chillis.

The pubs taking part are (tel for details):

3rd Sept 8pm- Sidewinder, St James's St, Kemptown tel 679927

4th Sept 8pm - The Railway, Ditchling Rise tel 689783 (closed for refurbishment -we didn't know!)

6th Sept 8pm - The Fountainhead, North Rd tel 628091

It was another great evening at the Fountainhead on Sunday - not many people, it's true, but the quality was superb.  Nobody shamed themselves too much like they did at the Sidewinder (did you know that apparently chilli vomit stains concrete? No, either did I - too much information if you ask me) Anyway, probably the best part of the event was when one contestant, while others were sweating, fanning themselves and ripping off their T-shirts, actually put on a thick jacket saying he was cold. We think he is the Doctor - there's no way that anyone so cool can be from this planet.  Anyway, you can find out for yourselves as he will be at the finals of the chilli-eating competition on the weekend of 19-20 September.  Congratulations to our 2 finalists, the Doctor aka Chris Stanfeld, and Damien Burke.  Limber up and have a bit of a practice on the Dragon's Blood - you'll be fine!

Thanks too to all the mad fools who took part and are still recovering and many thanks to Kathryn at the Fountainhead for helping us to stage it - at least you didn't have much to clear up.

7th Sept 8pm - The Roundhill Tavern, Ditchling Rd, 530386 

It was a scream last night at the Roundhill - by the time I left one of the winners, Patrick Chamberlain, was lying on the ground outside spooning a tub of ice cream (the Extra Special variety) into his burning maw at least half an hour after he had eaten his last chilli of the evening.  Poor lad - how one suffers for one's art - but it's worth it because he and his fellow joint-winner Milo Foster-Prior, go on to represent The Roundhill at the finals of the chilli-eating challenge at the Fiery Foods UK Festival on 19-20 September.  The specials at this one?  Probably Rich's chilli vodka shots with grated chocolate.  It looked delicious but I couldn't try it - well, someone's got to remain upright and in control.  Well done everyone for taking part - it's just not as easy as it seems - and a big thanks to Rich for entering into the spirit of things and lending us his pub for some chilli mayhem!  

Will the chilliheads at the World's End pub pass the 1 naga limit?  Come and find out tonight at 8pm.

8th Sept 8pm - World's End, London Rd tel 692311

Yes, they did!  What an exciting match (chilli-eating is indeed becoming a sport - The Chilli Olympics, now there's an idea).  We started off with 12 men - no women this time sadly - and they all stayed in til the 3rd round which were the jalapenos grown by Dry River chillis and then it was almost as if they were given permission to drop like flies but noone had wanted to be the first. You could smell the testosterone!  The wildcard round reduced several more to quivering wrecks (I can now divulge that it's Black Death, Fallen Angel's naga beer. Usually taken in a shot glass, our brave lads had to down nearly 1/4 of a pint - ouch!  

Fast forward to the naga round - 4 left to overcome their fear of the chillipepperpete naga - and they did too.  I have never seen such agitation as displayed by our brave chilliheads - until they had to go through it all over again with the 2nd naga.  By this time, there were 3 - and they all got through it.  I was a little worried by Gareth who kept on massaging his heart but was assured he does this all the time - okaaay.  Some kind soul in the crowd suggested they shared the position of finalists between them and I was prepared to do this though I generally dislike deviating from the rules but the contestants wanted to fight to the bitter end - so I produced naga no. 3.  Would they or wouldn't they? Yes?  No, not yet.  There was a lot of psyching themselves up, lots of pumping muscle and shouting - and that was just from the audience - the contestants were bent over the table, trying not to die.  I should give you a few details about the pain that they are in at this stage - extreme burning in the mouth, on the lips, down the throat, in the stomach, possibly some stomach cramps.  Profuse sweating and nasal dripping, continuous production of saliva that they have to spit out and an inability to sit still - they have to keep moving as if that's going to stop the pain - ha!  Oh, and naga claw, to put an accurate medical expression to the condition of fingers involuntarily cramping so that you are unable to hold your pint when you finally throw in the towel, or throw up in the bucket.

In the end, nobody had to eat naga no. 3 as 1 man just couldn't take it anymore.  So lots of congratulations to our worthy winners, Liam and Gareth, and fantastic effort to all our contestants - I'm proud of your complete lack of self-preservation!

Thanks to Richard, the manager of World's End, for holding the contest and can we come back next year please?  

10th Sept 8pm - Master Mariner, Brighton Marina tel 818563

Well, we thought it was going to be a quiet one but luckily there were enough people to make it an event.   Rob, our compere, couldn't make it but we had Tris who did an admirable job once he'd stopped doing his drum n bass into the mike.  It was an interesting

10th Sept 8pm - The Brunswick, Holland Rd, tel 733984 - cancelled due to lack of interest!

11th Sept 8pm - Pub with no Name, Southover St tel 601419

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